II Samuel l8: ^{5-7; 9-15; 31-33}

It was the toughest time in the life of King David; a true low point. The death of one's son or daughter would be tragedy enough for any parent, but this was worse.  Absolom, David's son, had been killed by David's own soldiers, thus bringing to an end the royal mess that David had made of his life.

Some of it began way back, when David had an affair with the wife of one of his captains named Uriah, and then had him killed before he could discover that his wife, Bathsheba was pregnant.  Had David not done this, there would have been an open government scandal which could well, in that culture, have ended with the stoning to death of Bathsheba. Instead, with her husband dead, David married her.  Communications being what they were in ancient Israel, this matter never became a public scandal.  The National Post and the Vancouver Sun would never have touched the issue, but you can be sure that the National Enquirer would have made it headline news.

Absolom was David's son by his first wife Michal.  She was the daughter of King Saul, David's predecessor.  Absolom was old enough to be aware of what had taken place.  He had observed David's deceitful handling of the situation, and he had heard the lament from his mother Michal's lips; he probably knew of the death of Uriah and the cover up at the palace.

The story of David's family is a series of crisis, none of which was handled very well.  It was not, therefore, a great surprise to many when Absolom became David's major problem and later his dedicated enemy.  He developed his own military group, and began a coup against his father's army; he was so clever as a military leader that he defeated the King's army on a couple of occasions, and had them flee to the hills.  David, meanwhile, did little; he was simply not interested in leading a war against his son. Even when that became a necessity, he commanded his generals to "deal gently with my son Absolom."

One day, by sheer dumb luck, the soldiers of David found Absolom stuck in a tree.  He had been riding his mule when he ran into the branch of an oak tree, and became stuck in the yoke of a branch. The soldiers who discovered him hanging were reluctant to kill him, because, even though he was a revolutionary, he was still the Kings son. Finally, Joab, the head of David's army arrived, and for him there was no dilemma.   Absolom was a threat; he must be killed.   So he thrusts three darts into Absolom's heart; then the soldiers jumped in and Absolom was killed.  Quickly, he was buried in a large pit, and a heap of stones was placed on his grave.  The Israelites were so afraid that they fled to their homes.

When the news filtered up to the King, after the usual media denials and accusations, David was distraught.  He retired to his chamber and wept over the son who could have been his successor.  It was a mourning of agony- a cry of what could have been, a dredging up again of the evilness of David himself that might well have begun the alienation.  It was operatic tragedy.  "O Absolom, my son Absolom, I wish it was me who had died instead of you, o my son, my son."

Can you put yourself in David's place?  The war is over, but the king's men have executed his son- the son that David had caused to hate him and create a division in the country. Because of this son, David's popularity was low. and his respect greatly eroded; still- this was his son!  David's lament is a mixture of grief, guilt, chagrin and despair.  It is the sort of stuff that prompts suicides; but for now, David just sits there sobbing so loudly others can hear his remorse, his self pity and his self hatred. David's grief is so profound that he is rendered virtually useless.

Let's leave the Biblical story for a bit, and think about the options that were open to David. One option would have been for him to externalize the event. Instead of facing up to his role and his failures as a King and a parent, he could have blamed it on a host of extenuating circumstances. That's the popular thing to do in our society. The reason Absolom turned out this way was primarily because of his mother Michal's unwillingness to put aside David's indiscretion with Bathsheba.  She twisted Absolom's perspective, turning him to hatred and negativity against his Father. That's a common view; "It's my parents fault-they never did really understand me, and they tried to push their values upon me!"  "This would have all blown over, except for those pesky prophets who riled up their people against me.  And then the media jumped on their side, and blew it out of proportion." "It was power that distorted Absolom; he led a group of gullible and fickle people who lavished praise upon him. They made him into what he was."  Or "I am an administrative King.  The military acted very slowly; if Joab and the army had acted more quickly, the rebellion would never have grown, and Absolom would never have become an enemy."

That's what we do, and you and I can read about it every day; it's the President against the military leaders, it's the prime minister or one of his opponents saying the media distorted the facts, or some psychologist blaming the parents for their failures, or saying the public mind has changed. Seemingly, the thing to do is blame someone else. David could have done that.

A second option would have been for one like David, in the depths of sorrow or embarrassment, to publicly wallow in grief and regret. The principle here is that if one does this long enough and sincerely enough, the people will see how hard the griever is on himself, and they may go easier on him.  This seems, in fact, to be just what David was doing. If one says, I am, worthless, it's all my fault, I am helpless, I am an emotional disaster, and one says it long enough, then the chances are that people will pity you rather than be upset by the facts of the circumstance.  Can't you hear the people?; "David, you mustn't be so hard on yourself.  It could have been worse.  It's not your fault, David, think of all the others who were involved.  It's that kid of yours David, he never did appreciate the favored situation that was his."  Now, to be sure, pity is tough on one's ego, but it beats anger.  In reality, it is a deception. It is as if the person is saying, if I cannot be the greatest person around, then I will be the greatest sufferer. This is what David was doing.

But here another Biblical surprise takes place.  It was David's general Joab who saw to it that Uriah was in the front of the battle and thus killed.  It was also Joab who presided over the death of Absolom, the son for whom David is grieving. Yet, in one of God's classic surprises, it is Joab who confronts David and pushes him to the third option.  Joab goes to David, and does not commiserate or tmoralize.  He comes with an observation that is more correct than David is able to see.  Loosely translated, he says to the king: "You have been sitting here commiserating and making faithful soldiers look guilty and not appreciated.  All this is confusing the public, and they are loosing trust in your leadership. You need to get out of this room; go down to the gate, and talk with your servants and the public. Get up, get dressed, comb your hair; they need to see you and sense you are able to cope with this mess.  It is a very harsh speech to deliver to one who is so deeply in distress as David; amazing, in fact, that the King did not throw Joab out, or even have him executed. To his credit, apparently, David recognized that what Joab was saying, hard as it might be, was exactly what needed to be done.

Do you see? This God we worship is not predictable. God is not confined to human limitations. Just when we think we have figured it out, at that exact point God steps in and shocks our understanding.  God doesn't just speak through nice, proper, believing people. Sometimes we hear the word from the strangest sources.  Sometimes, in fact, the piety and sense that, 'I am right and others are wrong" is the exact attitude that blocks God from getting a message to us.  Buddha said, "He who is just speaks the truth and does what is upright and good; minister to others by courtesy and faithfulness."   Mohammed said, "Whatever be your religion, associate with men who think differently from you. If you can hear them without anger, you have attained peace."

When Chris and I visited the home of Mahatma Gandhi in Bombay-now called Mumbai, we heard of his encounter with a Christian missionary who, impressed by Gandhi's love, forgiveness and pacifism said, "Mr. Gandhi, after whom do you pattern your religious life?" Gandhi replied, "after Jesus Christ". The missionary said, "then why are you not a Christian?"   Gandhi replied, "because you Christians don't."  Think about that!   God speaks often where we don't expect.

If there is anything that the story of David can teach us, it is that often God chooses very imperfect individuals to be his spokespeople.  Noah was found drunk, Abraham was thought to be too old, as was Sarah; Isaac was a day dreamer; Jacob was a liar, aided by his Mother Rebecca; Moses couldn't or wouldn't talk; Gideon was afraid; Rahab, one of Jesus ancestors, was a prostitute; Jeremiah and Timothy were thought to be too young, Jonah ran from God; Naomi was a widow; Job went bankrupt; Peter denied he ever knew Jesus; the disciples fell asleep while they were praying; Zaccheus was too small; John the Baptist ate bugs; the Samaritan woman was divorced more than once, and Paul created enemies because he was too religious.

You see, God has a sense of humor. Just when we think we know the personalities through whom God speaks, someone who we never thought of as being a believer says or does something that is very God-like and we are all humbled by our judgmental attitudes.

In our New Testament text of the morning, Jesus says, "I am the bread of life, if you come to me you will never hunger." But when he went to his home town, to the synagogue where he grew up in Nazareth, the people said, "Isn't this the son of Joseph and Mary whom we know?  What right does he have to say these things"- and they ran him out of town.  Next time someone threatens your sensibilities with other possibilities, remember that!   I can relate to that. When I came home to Rosedale, in Toronto, where I grew up, the people who listened could remember me as a teen-ager. They would say, we could understand if your brother Ernie had become a minister- but you Doug??

On another occasion, Jesus said to a group of people, YOU are the salt of the earth, YOU are the light of the world.  Now I don't know about you, but as a Christian and as a minister, I spend a lot being anything but LIGHT and SALT.  I get caught up in whatever project it is that I am thinking about; I forget, or I want to do this or go there, and I don't pay much attention to those around me who are hurting.  It seems to me that the world is obsessed with accomplishing something.  We put ourselves on a guilt trip if we are not busy.  When I used to visit regularly in retirement homes, or the homes of retired people, the most common thing I heard was, "it's hard to get used to not having to do something."
I hate going to restaurants and hearing cell phones ring or people talking on them.  Last week, as I was in the produce department at Save-On, there was a woman with one hand in the salad leaves, the other on a cart , and she had her head crooked to hold and talk on a cell phone.

One writer put it this way: "I was asked to meet some friends at their lake cottage one Saturday, and I showed up with a six-pack and some magazines.  I found a shady spot on the deck, and proceeded to scan articles, snooze and enjoy what probably could be called low-key meditating. The other guests, who had arrived earlier, were engaged in serious water-skiing, serious fishing, serious sun-bathing and serious painting. My lounging was continually interrupted by little messengers, dispatched by their parents, to enquire if I didn't want to go water-skiing now ("Daddy said to ask you"), or didn't I want to go fishing, or-?...  My reply was a monotonous "No thanks, I am just fine."  After two hours of weary kids trudging up the steps from the water to ask again, the parents lost faith in the little messengers, and began to come themselves. Are you sure you are having a good time? was the theme of their enquiry.  Don't you want to DO something? was the embellishment. They found it impossible to believe that my blatant, unorganized sitting could be good. When we all reassembled for dinner, two buddies asked quite seriously if I was feeling okay.  My doing nothing had been, for me, a refreshing release I think I felt much better ~~than they did. Their obligation to accomplish something measurable, even in recreation, was very wearying."

I want you to notice that Jesus didn't say "You are the salt of the earth and the light of the world, IF you are productive."   He didn't say "You CAN be the salt of the earth and the light of the world."   He said "You ARE the salt of the earth, You ARE the light of the world."  That seems like a real stretch.  I think I would be more satisfied if Jesus had said "You are the ants of the, you are the serfs or the bellhops of the world."  But he didn't. He chose to have ordinary and imperfect people like you and me be the salt and light of the world.

A few years ago, an ad appeared in The New York Review of Books.  It said:

    "Retired female schoolteacher, stressed out and soul-weary from reading, writing and 'arithmetic.
    Is there a gentleman in his sixties who can help me find the way to the playground before the bell
    rings?"

I hope she found someone who could be salt and light to her!

Do you see the point of this entire sermon?  It's not just about David; it's about you and me.  David was experiencing tough reality.  His son had been killed, and more than that, he had been killed by members of David's own army.  David was devastated.  But this time, it was not some grizzled prophet of God who came and challenged the king with strong words; this time, the message came from Joab: David's general, the very one who had given the order to kill Absolom.
Sometimes, the tough love that relieves the tough realities in our lives comes from people we least expect, and we will miss the message if we erect barriers that say, God only speaks in this way or acts in that way.

There are times when you and I can't wait until 'we feel right' to act.  Sometimes, we don't feel like holding our head high. or acting like we have forgiven ourselves, which by the way, is necessary if we truly believe God has forgiven us. Sometimes we don't feel like looking others in the eye, and smiling seems very difficult. Often, though, that is the only way to recovery.  "David" said Joab, "Get out of here, fix yourself up and go down to the front gate and start greeting people."   It was probably the most difficult thing David had ever done, but when he did it, he began to recover, and the healing of the country was underway.

You see, this God of ours simply won't stop pursuing us, even when we have landed in the muck of our well-earned guilt or regret.  The God revealed in Jesus Christ is served not by our groveling or guilt, but by our recovery.  God couldn't care less for our mea culpas- it's my fault, I'm guilty.  God is only interested in our "neverthelesses."

What are you going to do now?  As God spoke through Joab to David, the message is one or permission and responsibility:  to accept forgiveness, and come back to life- not sometime when it feels okay, not later when our memory of the hurt or failure has dimmed- but right now!